Tall, Dark & Fangsome
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2009 by Michelle Rouillard
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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Forever is an imprint of Grand Central Publishing.
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First eBook Edition: September 2009
ISBN: 978-0-446-55813-6
Contents
Copyright
He brought my arm up to his mouth.
Praise for Michelle Rowen Stakes & Stilettos
Also By Michelle Rowen
Acknowledgments
The Basics
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
The Dish
He brought my arm up to his mouth.
Since he didn’t have a natural thirst for blood, still being human and all, he didn’t slurp greedily at the wound as a hungry vampire would. Instead, I felt the warm touch of his mouth, tentative at first, as he tasted me.
After a minute he looked up at me with surprise. “I think it’s working. The pain is lessening.” He smiled and lowered his mouth to my arm again.
I felt something stir deep inside of me from the sensation of his tongue sliding hungrily against my skin. It disturbed me a million times more than anything else that night.
He’s evil. No matter what he tries to make you believe, it doesn’t change anything. It’s only words.
He made a strange sound, like a sigh of relief. “It’s the first time since the accident that the pain is completely gone.”
He rose to his feet in front of me with renewed strength. His hands moved to the small of my back and he pulled me up against him. I braced my hand against his chest.
“I think the bar is closed,” I said.
“Then I should probably settle my tab.”
And then, suddenly, he was kissing me.
Gideon Chase was kissing me.
This was so not good.
Even less good was the fact that I was kissing him back.
Praise for Michelle Rowen
STAKES & STILETTOS
“4 Stars! Über-talented Rowen is back and once again combining the weird and wacky as only she can. There’s plenty of humor and a touch of danger; truly a biting good time!”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“5 Stars! Rowen’s books never fail to thrill. Stakes & Stilettos is delightfully charming and keeps the wonderful mixture of tongue-in-cheek humor and well-fleshed-out plot that made her earlier books so entertaining. The story keeps you guessing, always twisting in unexpected ways… An exceptional tale told by a master storyteller.”
— BittenbyBooks.com
“A glorious, amusing, and suspenseful story… This is excellent!”
— RomanceReviewsMag.com
“5 Stars! Truly funny… outbreaks of spontaneous laughter are likely. There is no shortage of excitement for the characters of Stakes & Stilettos, or for the readers. Hugely good fun!”
— LoveVampires.com
“With a generous dose of suspense, Ms. Rowen leads readers on a journey of hateful revenge, the quest for immortality, and the amazing power of love. Readers will be eager to see where this talented author will take them next.”
— DarqueReviews.com
“5 Stars! A series that just keeps getting funnier and funnier… A rollicking good time… I can’t remember the last time I giggled so much at a book. I can’t wait to read more about Sarah Dearly and her misadventures!”
— FallenAngelReviews.com
“Rowen never disappoints, her stories are wonderfully funny, quirky, and full of laugh-out-loud moments, but there’s also a great, clever plot. Stakes & Stilettos is an original, super funny story and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series.”
— NightOwlRomance.com
LADY & THE VAMP
“4 Stars! Fans will appreciate the light tone, the smooth and swift narration… and the comedy throughout the third book of Rowen’s Immortality Bites series.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Michelle Rowen has again successfully written a funny and highly entertaining vampire story… I was delighted.”
— ArmchairInterviews.com
“The best of Rowen’s series thus far… promises a few hours of light, entertaining paranormal fun.”
— BookLoons.com
“If you like your romances filled with humor, unique and entertaining characters, and above all else, a little bite, you’re gonna love Lady & the Vamp.”
— RomRevToday.com
“A cute little romp through the world of the fanged! Rowen’s cheeky humor is sure to please those readers looking for a light paranormal read.”
— TheRomanceReadersConnection.com
“Enjoy Lady & the Vamp when you want to escape into a fantasy world for a while.”
—JandysBooks.com
FANGED & FABULOUS
“You can’t put this book down!”
—CHARLAINE HARRIS
“4 Stars! Rowen once again presents an exciting, action-packed, and… humorous tale.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A hoot… Rowen’s character list is awesome, the humor is hilarious… [a] delightful book.”
— MyShelf.com
“Fanged & Fabulous is a hugely fun, lighthearted vampire chick-lit romance and yet it is a surprisingly satisfying read, too. Sharp wit and classic romance… perfect reading for the summer.”
—LoveVampires.com
“A funny and witty tale… I laughed out loud all through the book. The dialogue by this bestselling author is sarcastic and hilarious and the characters will leave you waiting impatiently for the next installment.”
—ArmchairInterviews.com
ANGEL WITH ATTITUDE
“4 Stars! Rowen does a delightful job mixing things up with her sassy and sexy characters. She has her own unique spin on life and the afterlife and good and evil, which makes for downright fun reading.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Divinely funny… A subtly provocative paranormal romance that shines a new light on angels and demons and witches, oh my!”
—Heartstrings Reviews
“You have to read this book! It is quirky, funny, and sweet. If you love original and hilarious, you have to pick up Angel with Attitude.”
— FallenAngelReviews.com
BITTEN & SMITTEN
“A terrific vampiric chick-lit tale filled with biting humor.”
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��Midwest Book Review
“4 Stars! Fun and clever… this novel is bound to appeal to those who like their romance a little offbeat and definitely humorous.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A study of contrasts: frothy chick-lit wrapped around a grittier reality and a flip side featuring a modern heroine paired with a Brontean hero. Let us welcome this fresh voice to the genre.”
—Booklist
ALSO BY MICHELLE ROWEN
Angel with Attitude
Bitten & Smitten
Fanged & Fabulous
Lady & the Vamp
Stakes & Stilettos
Acknowledgments
Writing the Immortality Bites series has been a pleasure from beginning to end. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to spend five books with these crazy characters, who have become so real to me I expect them to show up at my door any day now. I have the restraining order ready to go. Sarah Dearly, I’m looking at you.
Thank you so much to my editor Karen Kosztolnyik, who has an uncanny and enviable talent for cutting through the surface of a story and seeing what needs fixing in order to make it better. I love working with you and respect your fabulous editorial skills more than you know.
Thanks also to my wonderful agent Jim McCarthy. If it wasn’t for you, my vampires would still be wandering around in my head instead of lurking about in bookstores.
A big shout-out to Laurie Rauch who betaread this book for me, the Toronto Romance Writers and the Write-Ons, as well as everybody on the Michelle Rowen chat loop, Twitter friends, Facebook friends, MySpace friends (wait, I’m almost done), and commenters on my blog! (Whew!) You’re all seriously fangtastic. A parallel shout-out to my family and friends with a big thanks for keeping me (relatively) sane as I try to do this writing thing full-time. Okay, not sane at all. But thanks for trying anyhow.
Last, but definitely not least, thank you to my wonderful, smart, good-looking readers! If it weren’t for you, this would have been only one book—not five! If I’ve managed to convey a fraction of the love that I feel for my characters to you when you read about them, then my job is done. You know, for now.
The Basics
My name is Sarah Dearly.
I am a vampire.
But don’t be afraid. I don’t bite.
Actually, scratch that. Recently I do bite, but not because I want to.
Three months ago I was turned into a vampire by an amorous and misguided—not to mention creepy—blind date. Shortly after he tried to bury me (don’t ask), some vampire hunters came by and staked him dead. They wanted to stake me as well, but I ran away and straight into the arms of a super-hot, suicidal six-hundred-year-old vampire named Thierry de Bennicoeur. French name. No accent, though. Did I mention hot?
Angsty though he was, I fell for him. Hard.
Bad things happened. Good things happened.
Mostly bad things, though.
I learned that hunters were everywhere and focused on killing vampires—even though we’re not evil. Or dead. Or undead. We’re exactly like humans except for the drinking-blood-to-exist thing, which, unfortunately, is true. And a couple other things like not being able to eat solid food. We have increased strength and senses. We don’t have reflections in mirrors, which, to say the least, is inconvenient. Alcohol no longer has any effect on us, alas. But we have beating hearts and can go out during the day, even though the sun tends to get a bit bright without dark sunglasses.
Oh, the immortality thing is true, too. That is, if somebody doesn’t stake us.
So, even though we’re relatively normal, hunters want us dead. They’re the bad guys.
One of those hunters tried to kill me and I shot him in self-defense. Yes, shot him with a gun. No fangs involved. The incident succeeded in giving me the false reputation of slaughtering a whole bunch of hunters and the catchy title of “Slayer of Slayers.” Some people are scared of me, some impressed, and others find it a big fat challenge to sink a stake through my heart.
One of those hunters is Gideon Chase. He’s the leader of all the vampire hunters, and a billionaire who was considered quite a ladies’ man before he slayed a demon and was burned by hellfire. The hellfire scarred him horribly and is slowly and painfully dragging him, body and soul, to hell.
Now he wants my help.
Because, thanks to a couple life-or-death situations, I’ve had to drink the blood of two master vampires—
Thierry being one of them—I now have some sort of supercharged blood. This allegedly means that any vampires I sire will be very strong. Gideon is under the impression this means that I can heal him if I turn him into a vamp and keep him from his one-way ticket to hell, but it has to be done along with a ritual under the next full moon.
And if I don’t do what he says, he’ll murder everybody I love.
Obviously, I agreed to help him out.
He made me end my budding relationship with Thierry because Gideon’s afraid that I’ll reveal his nefarious plans to him in a private moment. But my attempted break-up didn’t work. We’re still together, only now we have to keep it a secret from everyone, even my closest friends. If Gideon finds out that I didn’t do what he demanded… well, he simply can’t find out.
The guy is evil. Literally.
Last, but certainly not least, I’m dealing with a curse that turns me into a nightwalker—a vicious, neck-biting, sun-fearing, sultry vixen of a vampire (in other words: so not me)—unless I’m wearing an ugly but effective magic-infused gold chain.
I’m trying to stay positive that everything will work out in the end, but it currently sucks to be me.
The pun is fully intended.
Chapter 1
Okay, Sarah, try not to freak out,” Amy said.
That’s not really a good opener—not when you’re already close to the edge like I was.
My two best fanged and fabulous friends, Amy and George, had taken me out for drinks at a place called Darkside, the only secret vampire nightclub in Toronto currently open for business.
I’d known Amy for years, since we were both nonvampiric personal assistants—a day job she still held. I met George three months ago after I was sired into my new life as a vampire. They were trying to help me mend my broken heart and shattered self-esteem after my big, nasty break-up with my master vampire boyfriend, Thierry, a week and a half ago.
Unfortunately, since alcohol didn’t affect vampires other than remaining a tasty treat, I was on my third Tequila Sunrise and not feeling any differently about life, the universe, and, well… everything.
“Perky” was no longer my middle name. Not that it ever was.
I eyed Amy cautiously. “What are you talking about?”
She didn’t reply. Amy’s red-lipsticked mouth was frozen in a slightly scared-looking smile. She wore her short, platinum-blond hair like a Papa-Don’t-Preach-era Madonna to contrast her low-cut, black sequined top and tight black skirt.
When I glanced at George, he shrugged. He looked like a male model with shoulder-length, sandy-colored hair he currently had back in a low ponytail. He had chiseled features, a square jaw, and under his tight white shirt and black leather pants I knew he had a body worth crying over. Crying, mostly because he batted for the other team. Not that I’d ever harbored any unrequited fantasies about George. Not a chance. I had enough trouble with men without adding him to the list.
But he was mighty pretty.
“She’s definitely going to freak,” he confirmed.
Before I could ask for any more details about this predicted freak-out, a man approached the bar at which we were belly-up on rather uncomfortable stools. He was tall, built, attractive, and wore a dark blue button-down shirt exactly the same color as his eyes. His gaze was entirely fixed on yours truly.
I tensed at the unexpected attention.
“You’re Sarah, right?” he asked.
“Uh…”
“I’m Jeremy.” He smiled wide enough to show off his shiny
white fangs. “Amy’s told me all about you, but your reputation precedes you, of course.”
I flicked a confused glance at Amy, and then back at Jeremy. “Um…”
His grin widened. “Maybe we can get a private table so we can get to know each other a bit better.”
I shot Amy a horrified look as it all started to click in.
Was this a… a blind date?
Oh, hell no.
Amy cleared her throat nervously at my expression. “Jeremy works at the office in the HR department. When I realized he’s a vampire, too, I knew you two would be absolutely adorable together. So I kind of asked him to join us here tonight. You know, without telling you first.”
The last blind date Amy had set up for me resulted in a hickey I’d remember forever since the guy had bitten me and turned me into a vampire. Needless to say, I wasn’t a big fan of impromptu setups with strangers. Especially ones orchestrated by Amy.
“Great to meet you… uh, Jeremy, was it?” I plastered a smile on my face while my eyes tracked back to my Cupid-playing blond friend. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Amy? In private?”
She nodded tightly. “Mmm hmm.”
“We’ll be back in just a sec. Talk amongst yourselves.” I slid off the leather-covered barstool and sidestepped Jeremy and George as I threaded my way through the crowd of thirsty, club-going vampires toward the hallway leading to the washrooms. Amy trailed silently behind me.
“Really?” I said after we were out of earshot and away from the loud music. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“But he’s so nice. You haven’t even given him a chance.”
“I’m sure he’s the nicest vampire bachelor in the city. This has nothing to do with him.”
“I wanted to cheer you up. So sue me.” She pouted at her failed attempt to love-match me. “Ever since you and jerk-face broke up you’ve been no fun at all.”
Jerk-face was her pet name for Thierry. I had a similar term of endearment for her vampire husband, Barry, so I guess it all equaled out.